“I’ve got a roast!” Those were her first words to me, when I was eighteen years old. Chris drove me home from college and introduced me to his parents. She offered food before she even saw my face. Little did I know how much this woman would influence my life. And how many of her roasts I would end up eating.
Nobody could ask for a better mother-in-law. She scoffed at the term. I was her daughter, not some in-law, she insisted. And she treated me as such. When I was on bedrest for several pregnancies and surgeries, she was there, helping take care of my kids while also helping us run our home daycare.
When I had questions about life — anything from baking a pie to questions about religion or plants — she was there ready for discussion.
She was the granddaughter of a preacher, a sibling to preachers and a wife of a preacher (and for a short while a mother of a preacher). But she didn’t preach. She lived. Her contribution to worship was organ playing, which she did right through her 90th year of life. Here’s a ten-minute video we made for her 90th birthday last year. She chose the songs.
Mom clung to life like nobody I’ve ever seen. Around 16 years ago she had a heart attack that put a hole in her heart. We thought she was a goner then. Doctors told us the patch they put on would last a max of seven years. When it went, she would go. Yeah. It’s been a lot longer than seven years. And her heart has been functioning at about 35% since that time.
In early March she had health issues that took her to a hospital in Syracuse, NY, then to a rebab then back to the hospital. When it became clear she wouldn’t be able to go home we transferred her to Avon, CT, so she could be closer to the bulk of the family. She had things happen that people just don’t survive. But she did. We said “goodbye” to her soooo many times. Then the next time we’d see her, she’d be up eating and laughing.
Mom and Dad had a large house filled with lots of stuff. But at the end, all she wanted with her was her cross necklace, the Bible she got for her confirmation and a tomato from the garden.
Makes me wonder. What will it boil down to for me? What would you whittle your life down to? Thoughts for another time….
All the years, all the experiences, all the memories. She loved as hard as she was loved — by so many. Stories are starting to make their rounds now that she is gone. People loved how she brought them cookies and visited the new families in the neighborhood.
I remember lots of laughter and great times at the beach and “co-working” together. She wrote cards while I did my job. On her last lucid day with me, she reached out toward me and said “keyboard” as her hand sought my computer. I swear if she had been born in today’s world, she would have been a developer. She really had a knack for computers. And Siri and Google were definitely her buddies. Several times she got herself stuck on something, and when I asked how she figured it out, she’d just shrug and say, “I asked Siri.” 🙂
Our time with Mom on Earth is now over. You can read her obituary here. Watching her slip away from March until now has been rough. I’m glad she is gone and is at peace now. But that doesn’t take away all the pain of life without her. She is always in my heart. Our hearts. Love you, Mama. As you always sang to us before we left your house, God Be with You Till We Meet Again.
